Words and Words Are All I Have

Not mine though, since I am feeling lazy today! :-) Here’s a pick of my fav quotes off gmail’s RSS feed.

Some people see things that are and ask, “Why?” Some people dream of things that never were and ask, “Why not?” Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Joe E. Lewis

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Spike Milligan

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Jerry Seinfeld

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers

I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.
Jim Carrey

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.
Steven Wright

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Steven Wright

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Jay Leno

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra

We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next-door neighbor.
Chesterton, Gilbert K

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields