Friday, December 09, 2005

No Frills TV

Have been catching a lot of TV these days (thanks to staying at home and at my aunt's place in Hyd) and it makes me wonder if the TV people are putting themselves out a bit too much to win the channel wars. If I had the time and money and lots more inclination, I would create a no frills television channel.

Take these emcees for instance. They go and on and on before playing a song or a clip. And the best part is what they speak has nothing to do with the song to be played. So I plan to get a bunch of those guys and gals, ask them to speak impromptu for a few hours and tape it all on the same day. Then I can play permutations and combinations of these before songs and not pay for regular comperes.

And no channel worth its salt can desist from playing movies. Apna channel cannot afford to screen "India tholakatchigalil mudal muraiyaga, thiraiku vandu sila vaarangale aana"(For the first time on Indian screens, just released a few weeks ago) movies. A better ploy is to screen age old hits when the rival channel is screening a 3 week old flop. C'mon what would you rather watch Michael Madana Kama Rajan(one of the best movies ever made) or Bambara kanaaley(a recent flop)?

The USP of my channel would however be the commercials. You know how a half an hour programme is usually only 22 mins long? I am going to make it 26 instead. When I am shooting for a 22 minute sitcom episode, I am sure that adding 4 extra minutes won't increase the expenditure much. And no in-house ads i.e you won't see ads for Will and Grace between the FRIENDS episode. There will textual ads (like Google ads) that run while programmes are on, to inform viewers about other shows. And ad time is considerably cut down, one ad minute in my channel will sell more and so I can make a profit too.

And there will be none of those contests which give expensive prizes for answering questions like "Who is the hero of Salaam Namaste?". And there will absolutely be no special programmes during Diwali and other festivals. To the contrary, even regular progamming won't happen on those days since we can't compete with other channels. We will just play movie songs all day or simply just echo some FM station.

Any other ideas?

17 comments:

Jinguchakka said...

And do YOU have any ideas for sustaining your channel?
Ad's the Bread. Programs are just the bait to see the ads.
yeah, I agree that the emcees are a real pain. Even though some are cute. :-)

Point 5 said...

Discovery channel didnt have any ads when it started.....but commercialisation got the better of it....it still has a lot fewer ads than others....

The textual ads for inhouse serials is already effectively practised by a lot of different channels....but they dont cut down on their ad time though....

By the way, Michael Madana..rocks...I have seen it 5 times

janani said...

@jinguchakka - It won't be ad free - just a lesser percentage. Maybe I won't make money initially, but as my channel really kicks in, ad time on channel will cost more since the total ad time is lesser.
Hmm you guys are lucky I guess, I am yet to see a cute male emcee. :-)

@0.5 - Oh I didn't know Discovery started out ad free.
And since I am going to screen so few ads, I can't afford to advertise myself on my channel. So the textual ads have will do!
MMKR is one of thalaivar's best movies. And btw I have seen it about 500 times. :-)

Sidewinder said...

Did u know tht some persons like me watch only 'ads' in the TV.


Why dont you put a program for 'best ad countdown' . you can name the program as 'Philips Super ADs' like the songs countdown.
You 'll get money frm advertisers as well as, in tht program u dont need to insert ads in between.

wise donkey said...

for cookery progs instead of some exotic dishes , simple stuff like lemon rice and rasam:)

text ads, depends on viewer literacy.

and instead of just men's cricket and sania and narain, you could focus on other Indian sports,

instead of talking 15 mins about a star who bruised someone, you could talk about domestic violence, drunken driving, and other issues.

and your soap artistes instead of dying from bombs can die from hunger,

oh you just changed the channel :((

Rams said...

Interesting one...

k said...

hey thtz really innovative..... i liked the idea of screening old hits the best :) jus curious to know - whatz the name of the channel????

Manoj said...

Well, that was really dumb. If i had 10 minutes of ads in an half an hour programme, I could watch the other channel in the ad break. So 1 hour worth of TV in 30 minutes. Mmmmm. You are just trying to monopolize the Television Industry. Somebody sue her. :o

Vetty Max said...

Mostly your channel will give DD Podhigai a run for whatever money its making. :P

janani said...

@sidewinder - Wow that is one hell of an idea! Ads+money+new new show - cool.

@wisemonkey - Hmm you are trying to make my channel a social awareness one. :-)

@rams - Hope it will interesting to watch if it materializes. :-)

@k - Name not yet decided. Maybe that can be a contest for viewers.

@manoj - Hyoo! No monopoly this - just my 2 paise worth. :-)

@vmax - Heyyyy DD podigai is not that bad. My channel will be the best of both worlds.

Dinesh said...

Your channel can boast of less ads for sure but what will you boast of with empty pockets? Initially if you won't make money, you will not be able to raise the bar of the programs you show in. Or else to sustain, you should have bottomless pocket full of dough.

And btw: Michael Madan Kamarajan is terriffic. That reminds me of a dialogue from the movie..
"BimBoy BimBoy, inda laacker lende aar laksham ruvaa edutha inda avinashi naai od moonji la erri"...hehe.
I guarantee to watch your channel when you play this movie :)

Casablanca said...

Also please dont do any celebrity interviews! I have no interest in knowing what XYZ celebrity does early in the morning or why he likes bread more than pasta! Those interviews IRRITATE me no end.

Viggu said...

For god sake, don't bring in any sky-net product advertising programs during peak hours, in your channel.

Sangeetha said...

i'll wait for your channel so that atleast then i'd have reasons to claim why i should be hooked on to my TV addiction!

Arvind said...

Can I make another request? None of those really cheesy SMS messages on your channel either, please. I am certainly not interested in watching Kumaran proclaim his love to Esther with thousands of viewers playing witness!

ligne said...

Writing a comment, just to tell you I love reading your blog very much .
As far as tv is concerned, you have to watch american television to start apperciating the cable tv in India.. even age old advertisements...
haven't seriously watched television in years now :(
I am all for having songs run all day, without VJs. The slogan these days on local FM in this US county is " Less talk, more rock!"

Ambimama said...

And what about KBC, do u know that KBC makes crores and crores out of the SMS contest for audience.. Now, how much would they actaully be spending on conducting that contest is obvious.