When life gives you lemons, make Lemon Oorkai*

Greetings my gentle readers. How are you all doing? Yes, you, you and you. After ranting in the last post, I am going to make this one a nice breezy what's-up-with-my-life kinda post.

So I started my Tennis lessons yesterday. It was fun. It's a group class and has 5 other girls. Minutes before class, when we were warming up and so, memories of tennis classes at school came hurtling across and for a minute I was very very scared. Wehn I was 8 years old, Appa enrolled me in Tennis classes thinking I would grow up to be another Steffi Graf. And I was pretty enthused about the classes too especially 'coz my parents bought me a new racquet, tennis skirt, T shirt, wrist band and such. The classes beagan innocently enough. And I was the only girl in class. Also the only one who couldn't hit the ball over the net. Who was teased incessantly. I started sleeping in late hoping Appa would let me skip class. But he was still nursing Steffi dreams and so he would bundle me up for class every single day no matter how late it was. But that was a blessing in disguise since I would be made to jog around the grounds to warm up before starting which meant missing more class time. This went on for 2 years until I had a small health problem (totally not due to tennis) and the doctor said that it mighhtt be better to skip classes for a month. I grabbed onto those words and didn't go another class. And we used the 2 tennis racquets to play cricket at home.


There have been a lot of things that I have been wanting to do lately. I really want to take art lessons. I am not very good at it, but I am not bad too. I took glass painting classes in Hyderabad (it was just one class and that female charged 1000 for that!!) and Amma tells me that people have been complimenting my work. I want to work on my swimming and atleast get back to where I was when I was in school. I told everyone that I am renting a bike and biking around Lake Monona. But very embarassingly I slept in. I should do this sometime soon to redeem my pride. :-) I also want to learn a new language and I am auditing Beginning Spanish next sem. But considering I have a couple of tough courses next sem, I might have to drop this course. I also want to write more. Ever since S got me a journal I have been trying to write more and I wrote 2 poems in the first couple of weeks. But I seem to be dry once again. Want to write more short stories too, but unable to get beyond the starting sentences. As I was looking back on old posts I find that I used to write much better than now. Perhaps it had something to do with more readership back then :-) This is all for my personal todo list.

I have taken up a netflix membership recently and I want to rave about how good it is. Netflix rules. I am currently on a 2 DVD at a time membership and they are very quick to ship the next set. I usually get the new ones the day after they receive my old ones. Which is pretty cool. And also they have the "Watch Instantly" feature that lets me watch selected movies and sitcoms on an awesome the best online video player ever. The site is minimalistic and has everything you ever need. I recently took a Blockbuster trial membership since I pass by a Blockbuster store everyday and I thought store returns may get me movies faster. But I have been very disappointed with them. Their site is too cluttered and it took me a moment to find my queue. They don't offer any online viewing. And their DVDs take twice as much time as Netflix to reach me though both have centres in Milawaukee. So its Netflix all the way (atleast till I get back to school) for me.

*Pickle

HSBC Direct Sucks

It all started innocently. Since I was earning a few bucks during my internship, I thought it would help if I saved a couple of dollars (especially since I won't have an on campus job to support me next sem). I suppose I could have transferred it to my Bank of America Savings acoount, but we all know money in the same account as the direct deposit one would be spent soon. So I started looking for a good savings account and found that online banks offer better interest rate. Since I didn't have a car to get by, I assumed that it would be easier to open an account online. Right? WRONG!

when I started looking for online banks, I had 2 options - HSBC Direct and ING. Since HSBC was offering 3.5% as opposed to the 3% offered by ING. Also HSBC allowed me to link how many ever accounts I wanted to the Savings account. Naturally I tried to open an account. It seemed easy enough - fill out basic details and then the trial deposits. But even after confirming my trial deposits, my account was pending - awaiting documentation. They said that they needed some form of address proof (bank statement, utility bill) and so on. Since I am now in Wisconsin, I ask my roommates to send over some utility bills. And I fax them and wait for the prescribed 48 hours, which then becomes 72 hours. So I call the Customer Service. After waiting for nearly 15 minutes (while listening to "exxccitng" new from HSBC) I reach a human. She tells me that they didn't receive the fax and ask me to resend it. By this time I am a little impatient and so I resend the fax and wait another 3 days. I get am email reminding me to send it again. I was raving mad when I picked the phone and called them. They tell me that they did receive the document, but the bill was older then 60 days (it was 63 days old) and so they cannot use it. This seems reasonable enough, but nobody told me this while opening the account. And would it have killed them to send me an email rather than wait for me to call them?? So I fax over another document that's pretty recent and send it out on the same day (last Wednesday morning). On Friday I give them a call to hear them say that they didn't receive the fax and that a specialist would call me on Monday morning 8:00 a.m. It's 10:00 a.m and no call. So I give them a call and after waiting for an eternity I am told that they didn't receive my fax. And when I complain about how it's 3 weeks now since I started to open my account, the customer rep tells me "You are not the only applicant you know"!!!

I have cancelled my application with them and opened one with ING. The experience has been pleasant and hassle free till now. I talked to a Customer Service agent before opening the account (and I got a human within 2 minutes). She was polite and assured me that they needed no documentation from me. Plus I was referred by someone and so I get a $25 referral bonus. Sweeet! And since I am not going to be saving millions, a 0.5% doesn't matter much, in fact it might be lesser than the $25 I earned. And if I things go well with my Savings account, I will open a Checking account with them and you can link as many accounts you want with that. Plus you can write checks. So it's win win win for me.

HSBC just lost themselves a loyal customer (hopefully the business of the people reading this blog too). I am not a person who chases after interest and I would have stuck to them for years.

So the moral of the story is : HSBC Stinks. And it pays to have a good Customer Support and Admin system.

P.S Wanted to write a post on something else, but HSBC irritated me so much that I had to put this up. I am usually patient with such things 'coz once you get the system rolling, you don't have to worry about other things. But they really got my goat.

Who Am I?

Of late my life seems to be changing. I am discovering a lot of new things about myself that is bang opposite to how things were earlier.

For instance chocolate. I was a chocolate lover and I used to say that out. Loudly. To everyone I met. I even had a theory that I would not go out with a guy if he didn't get me chocolate frequently. But since I came to the US, I have started moving towards peanut covered chocolates. The place I am doing my internship has an awesome pantry with hot chocolate (with marshmellows) and a well stocked candy jar. The only candy I take from there are Reese Peanut Butter Cups. And I sometimes scrap the chocolate off the top and eat just the chunky peanut butter. If I ever feel like buying chocolates outside, I buy peanut M&Ms. And I have taken to eating Vanilla ice cream, after eating ONLY chocolate ice cream (sometimes chocolate ice cream dipped in chocolate sauce) for the past 24 years. I don't seem to like chocolate so much any more. This is very distressing for me to say the least. Asking a guy to get chocolate on a date is romantic. But asking for a jar of peanut butter or Reese Peanut Butter Cups, and him watching me scrap the chocolate off and gobble the rest, is surely going to crimp my style.

It's not just chocolate. I seem to started to love shopping, even window shopping. All these years in India, I've never had an urge to shop. H had to literally drag me to shops. And even when I did go shopping, it would all be in one shop, and finished in 15 minutes - doesn't matter if I am buying a silk saree or night pajamas. In fact that used to be in USP to attract guys, that they would never have to wait outside a fitting room, carrying 15 bags, knowing there would be no dinner until shopping is done. And I used to hate jewellery of any kind. Amma had to drag me to the jewellers under false pretexes to make me buy gold. But things seem to have changed now. I seem to be shopping with a vengence now, as if to make up for all the lost years. Just yesterday I spent about $200 on clothes, accessories and other associated items. It doesn't help that I have to walk through the mall everyday to get home from the bus stop. Coming to jewelery, though I still hate yellow gold, I've discovered something wonerful called white gold - just as expensive as the yellow one,, but much prettier. And now I know why diamonds are a girl's best friend. I have about 25 new best friends now. It doesn't stop with just these. I seem to be addicted to grocery shopping as well. What used to be a chore once upon a time seems to be a magical time. I spend almost an hour on just the cereal aisle.

And there's more. Where I've sworn to never let my hair loose, I am now refusing to tie them up (thanks to a wonderful hair stylist who has convinced me I have great hair and taught me style it well. Here's a tip for all (or any) Madison woman reading my blog. Rejuvenation Spa on Mineral Point rocks, especially Jeanna for hair) I am wearing my contact lens to work on most days a week (This is an improvement, considering I used to wear them like once in 2 months when I was in India) I am hunting for a pink T shirt, where I've once laughed at H's pink salwar kameez. In fact when I was buying a tennis racquet yesterday (I am starting tennis classes next week you suckers!), when the salesman suggested a pink racquet, I almost considered it. Oh and before I forget, my bargaining and deal sniffing skills seems to have increased substancially (i.e move up from the zero that I used to be, to say 20%)

I don't know what to make of these changes. S seems to be convinced that aliens have abducted the real me and substituted it with a zestier fake. Amma is alarmed at the amount of money that I am spending (which they are sending from India for my "education") and feels that I am doing all this shopping just 'coz it isn't my money. And she want's me to lay off both chocolates and peanuts and start eating fruits instead. Appa either doesn't notice anything or if he did, is too scared to say anything. I am sure Paati will say this is the corrupting influence the West is having on me.

But I feel that I am turning into a woman. I used to be this distracted soul when it came to such matters like shopping or dressing up. So after a quarter century, my mind has grasped that I am a girl and should act and behave as one. What about the chocolate/peanut butter you ask? Well I think that's just to throw off my bf/husband and start an argument "You don't care about me" or "You've changed". Suppose he comes walking in on Valentine's day with a box of dark chocolate, I can just throw it on his face. Yeah, that sounds good.

This really is exciting news. Maybe I will soon start going "Awwwwww" when I see kids and not feel that they are a nuisance. Maybe I will even *gasp* smile indulgently when they start throwing a tantrum in the movie theatre. Well, maybe not that.

So the million people who read my blog, what's your diagnosis?

P.S1 Wanted to title this post "I am Woman, Hear Me Roar", but I was worried that I would scare away readers who think this is a real feminist post.

P.S2 Want to majorly uphaul the blog template. Any suggestions?

People We Hate in the Sitcoms We Love

As promised (albeit late), here is a list of people I absolutely in detest from popular sitoms (read sitcoms that I watch or watched)

Friends - This was the sitcom that had the most influence on me, the one that made me realize that I am hooked to sitcoms. Popular vote says that the most irritating person in this is Janice. But since this is my blog and all that, I say that Phoebe is the worst of the lost. She is the least unattractive, flaky and high maintenance too on top of that. I can't believe that Mike married her. So repeat after me here, "We hate Phoebe"

Everybody Loves Raymond - One of my most favoritesht sitcoms ever - I am just 3 seasons short of owning the whole series on DVD. I think I have to go with Marie on this. I know she is integral to the story and all that, but hate her. (Sometimes hate Ray too for being a wuss, but my final vote is for Marie)

Will and Grace - I had to think a bit for this one. H hates Karen Walker, but somehow I can never bring myself to hate her. The person I hate is a tie between Bobbi Adler (Grace's mother) and Tina (Will's father's mistress).

Frasier - Yet another "comfort" sitcom. Frasier never fails to cheer me up when I am down. In fact I am reading "So Far", Kelsey Grammer's autubiography right now. Ironically this is the one sitcom of which I don't own a single DVD (Hint hint ;-)). I can't think of any particular person to hate, so I am going to go with Aswin and give the title to Lilith.

Cheers - I started watching this mainly to understand the "Cheers" comments in Frasier. Ted Danson is brilliant (which is why I started watching Becker) But I am not able to choose between Diane, Carla and Cliff. All the 3 aer irritating in their own right. Since I hate permed hair, I think I am voting off Carla for having the ugliest kind of hair on top of being nasty.

Drew Cary Show - Mimi for obvious reasons. No more discussion

That 70s Show - Another hilarious show. I spent a lot of time watching this show when I should have been doing my homework. I guess that explains my GPA :-) And I like both Jackie and Eric. But I do hate Michael's brother, the Kelso who dates Donna. (I think Donna is pretty overrated, especially when she leaves Eric. But nah, don't hate her)

Three's Company - I hate Chrissy! I know all you guys like dumb but hot blondes and thats the premise for a lot of humor. But I've always felt that Chrissy was taking it too far. In fact I liked the seasons in which she was replaced with Cindy.

30 Rock - One of the best comedies that's on air right now. So it's kinda tough to find someone to hate, but I think I do hate Frank. The dumb caps, lazy drawl and slobby looks don't get any love from me.

Just Shoot Me - Another sitcom I started watching 'coz I liked one of the stars. I love David Spade and I kept watching 10 Simple Rules even after Ritter's passing just for him. But this sitcom totally failed me. I like office humor and all that, but this one was too silly to click for me. Spade was brilliant though! I think I hate the main character Maya Gallow the most. I can't stand her too thick eyebrows, hair that's not dyed from the roots and her holier-than-thou attitude. I tried for 2 seasons, but still hate her.

We are talking about sitcoms and things we hate - my two favorite topics. So I cold go on and on and on. So having my readers' well being in mind, I stop with these.

So gentle readers, I now leave you with lots of people to hate. So hate away and send me a little blog love (read comments)

Ashok Banker's Ramanaya - Well Worth a Miss

After writing about something I loved in my last post, I think I am back to what I like most - cribbing :-)

First if this book, Prince of Ayodhya by Ashok Banker. It is supposed to be a retelling of the Ramayana. It had some very good reviews and had a bunch of people raving about it in the comments too. I should have known that every well read blog has its own bunch of Yes-men. I went through a lot of trouble to get this book, since it wasn't available in US and all that and S had to literally beg his colleague to bring this back when he went back to India. I was ecstatic when I finally got it and was devising means to smuggling the other parts from India. Now, I think I will pass. The book is just short of a trivialization of the Ramayana. It's a sort of Harry Potter meets India kinda book, the sort of one that will make good selling.

Given the rise of popularity of fantasy books these days, he has just made use of a good story and written in a racy manner. If it is one thing I hate, it is written Hinglish or Tanglish. Why Banker chose to intersperse dialogues with colloquial Hindi is something I don't understand. It isn't as if all dialogues are in Hindi, why choose to write just a few in Hindi? I can understand use of some sanskrit words like brahman, but why Hindi?? And he's added a lot of cheese to his book. For example, Lakshmanan is called Luck and Shatrugnan is called Shot! These reminded me of those Danish Prophet cartoons. I wonder if anyone in the Shiv Sena has read this book. Another thing that rankled me was the use of the phrase "brahman sorcery" very freely. What does Banker want to convey with this? I have not read the original Ramayana by Valmiki or Kamban and my source is mainly grandma stories and the TV. I don't want him to conceal facts about Dasaratha's wives or Lord Rama's follies. I just wish he would choose a language to write in (Hindi/English/Assamese or whatever) and stick to it.

If you think of it as just another book, leaving the religious part aside, I would say the book is well written. The narration is fast and descriptive. But another irritating thing that Banker does is to switch between scenes in the same chapter without warning. It is misleading and quite annoying especially towards the end. I suggest he read The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud to see how it should be handled. Also the review I read, gave an impression that Banker's works contained soft porn - it talked of orgasms and fondling of breasts. I've read the whole book and there is no mention of those anywhere! You can buy these books for kids - the ones who loved Harry Potter would love these too.

Final verdict: Read if you want to reread the Ramayana and don't have the patience to read lengthy Sanskrit translations

P.S. Coming up next post, a list of characters I absolutely hate from famous sitcoms. Any ideas?

Dasavatharam

First day first show! Even earlier than that - 8:00 p.m CST on 12th June. :-) And did I love the movie!

The reviews have not been too kind. But the best one was the one by Hindu. This is not a Hey Ram. It's director's movie through and through and it has to be taken with a grain of salt. People's stupidity on saying that the Afghan character is silly makes me laugh. Do they mean to say that they've never met anyone like that? And honestly I loved the comedy scenes. Its an out and out action entertainer. People watch Indiana Jones and rave about it and yet can't seem to like Dasavatharam which I feel is much much better. Maybe its acceptable for Speilberg to churn out masala but not Kamal Hasan. Or perhaps they had already made up their mind to hate the movie even before it was released. But then I am just another Kamal fan with a blog that no-one reads :-) Please do go to the theatre and watch this movie. Or don't watch it all but do NOT watch it on a pirated CD/DVD.

I am not going to do a review 'coz I don't want to give away spoilers. I loved the movie through and through. It had me laughing in some parts, crying in others and spellbound in most parts. I think Appa can now be a little relieved that his girl has some amount of Iyengar ness in her, 'coz the scenes of Govindarajar moved me to tears that my Lord had faced all this in the past. I am thankful to this movie for a near perfect portrayal of brahmins, especially Iyengars after the mockery that was Anniyan. The diction, pronunciation, costume was authentic.

The few people who still read my blog, do go and watch the movie as soon as you can!

Back

With another tag, thanks to Sasi. So let me start the tag (without the usual cracks about how I am back and the usual promises of being regular)

The tag asks us to state 5 previously unknown quirks/facts about yourself

1) I love watching movies in theatres, but can't stand watching them on TV/laptop. I guess I am a movie theater buff rather than a movie buff. I can watch the worst of movies onscreen and come back with the satisfaction of a $8 well spent. And you could show me the best movie on the laptop and I would still walk away after a half hour. I think my brain is wired to have an attention span of just 30 mins (which would explain why my netflix queue is full of sitcoms)

2) I've had my 30GB ipod for 2 years now, but it still has just 2GB of songs and videos on them. And the only ones I listen to are about 500MB (S.Ve Shekar and Crazy Mohan dramas every night before sleeping) And to think I was soo pumped about getting an ipod. Now I am all gung ho about iphone 3G. But I think I will hold back this time :-)

3) I hate wearing my hair down. It has to up in a pony tail. I mean I have nice hair that would look good if I take some effort every morning (blow drying it upside down etc) (And to all you people waiting to take a crack at my hair, I was told that I had beautiful hair by my hair stylist and she refused to let me straighten it or perm since "it looks so good naturally". So there!:-) ) But somehow I never let it down unless it is dripping wet in which case I had something to tie it back in when it dries.

4) This might come as a shocker to typical Indian mindsets, but I hate yellow gold jewelery. Yup hate it. But since I am girl and all that, and my husband needs to have something to buy me when he wants to make up after a fight, I love thin white gold chains and bracelets (preferably with diamonds on them :-)) I know this is nothing strange by American standards, but if you attend an Indian wedding you would know.

5) This might sound hypocritical, but I don't like many of the Indians in the US. People tell me that they usually feel good to see a familiar brown face in a black and white sea, but not for me. I don't speak for all of them, but a lot behave in a disgraceful manner. Like stealing a bunch of paper bags from bakery aisle of the grocery store (which is meant for taking a donut or a muffin if you are buying one), tipping badly (or not tipping at all), bringing loud and noisy kids to a movie and so on. I understand that most of you are here to make money and I don't mind if you want to skimp and save, but that doesn't give you the right to leave a dollar bill as a tip for a $30 dinner. If you don't want to pay for a babysitter or are squeamish about hiring one, then please take a netflix or blockbuster membership and don't set foot into the theatre. And the America bashers, I really have no words for you all. I miss home too and I've written about it too. But I don't go around saying "Americans don't have family values like Indians" and so forth. Though they might leave home at 18, they are not the ones to leave their family behind and travel half way across the sea to make a few bucks. There is so much more that I can talk about, but I think I will stop with this for now. The usual disclaimer stands - I know I am not talking about ALL the desis in the US. There are sizable exceptions (I like to think myself as one too). And I am not saying that all Americans should be kept on a pedestal too.

So after 4 strange facts and one mini rant, I think I am done with the tag. And since no-one reads this blog I don't feel the need to pass this on.